Unusual Circumstances of Conception

Highlighting the unusual circumstances in which conception can occur is certainly not meant to single out or devalue children who began life in difficult situations. Rather, it aims to point out that the influence of certain particular circumstances that marked the beginning of their lives can be shaped by parental behavior, which is able to affect what happened at such an extremely early stage. What occurred at the moment of conception or during pregnancy, in fact, inevitably leaves traces in the psyche of the child to come, traces that can affect their later development. The quality of the parent's presence therefore becomes decisive in improving situations that had a difficult start.

Among the particular circumstances that can occur at the moment of conception or during pregnancy are all those that put the embryo's or fetus's existence at risk. This includes, for instance, children conceived despite the presence of an IUD, a device meant to prevent the embryo from implanting; those who survive legal or clandestine abortion attempts*; those who survive the death (natural or induced) of a twin, or a premature birth; and, in assisted reproduction, those selected among several other embryos fertilized in vitro and frozen for uterine implantation, or those who survived embryo reduction carried out after implantation.

In all these cases, we are talking about «prenatal survivors» who, having faced the real possibility of being destroyed and dying, can be compared to adults who have lived through the traumatic experience of escaping a death that did not spare the group they belonged to (survivors of a terrorist attack, for instance, of concentration camps, or of an accident involving several people).

It has been observed that, after one of these tragic experiences, many of them may go on to develop a «three-dimensional» psychopathology, characterized, that is,

• by feelings of guilt, showing up as depressive symptoms, as if having survived made them responsible for the deaths of others;
• by a sense of omnipotence, showing up as feeling exceptional, as if surviving made them indestructible;
• by the need to test themselves by taking excessive risks.

A parent who is aware of the difficulties their child went through at conception or during intrauterine life, and who knows what symptoms might emerge over the course of their development, will be more careful not to minimize certain manifestations that are not pathological in themselves but could become so, and will therefore be better placed to offer the child psychological support. In such cases, in fact, deep work is needed to release the intense fear of dying that was experienced, and to help the child avoid putting themselves back into situations that could become genuinely dangerous for their life.

References: Bayle, L'embryon sur le divan, Masson, 2003