The parental figure historically given the least consideration in a child's development, the «father», has taken on various connotations over time, both historically and socially: from the archaic «pater familias» to the more contemporary «house husband».

But what is the father's role in a child's development, really? What function does he serve in fostering balanced, harmonious growth?

The father is the pivot that inserts itself into that primary, symbiotic relationship represented by the mother-child dyad, guiding the child toward a progressive separation and, at the same time, the formation of their own identity. It is thanks to the father's presence and the building of the triadic relationship that the child opens up to the world and to others, prepared and ready to learn.

Over the years, the literature on child development, particularly on how the relationship with parental figures is structured, has almost always focused on the relational dynamics between mother and child rather than on the mother-father-child triad or the specific father-child relationship. Yet it is essential, especially in a society like today's, where family dynamics are often fragile and unstable and caregiver roles are increasingly undefined, to rebalance where our attention goes.

In light of recent studies that reassess the father and fatherhood from birth onward, it is therefore necessary to open a chapter on the paternal figure, on his role and his function within the child's developmental path.

For these reasons, dear mothers and dear fathers, I have decided to guide you through this short journey to discover the link between the father's function and your children's psychomotor development.

From the dyad to separation from the mother: the father's function in the developmental process

During pregnancy and in the immediate postnatal period, mother and child are in a fused state: the dyad. It is a world closed off from the outside, yet one that builds itself as an inner space of interaction and affective communication: nothing exists beyond the two participants and their facial expressions, their vocalizations, their emotions. It is through this first, profound relationship with the mother that the child lays the foundations of one of the most developed areas of their competence: reading and interpreting the signals and emotional expressions of other people's behavior (Barone, 2009). And it is thanks to this constant interaction that the mother's contribution proves significant and fundamental to the child's social, emotional, and cognitive development.

Outside this all-encompassing relationship between mother and child stands the father who, first of all, plays the role of the environment and, as such, enters the dyad gradually from the earliest postnatal period, transforming it into a triad. Through his presence and his interactions with the child, the father promotes, and later helps the child move through, a necessary and highly important developmental stage: the «phase of individuation and separation». This stage allows the child to recognize themselves as an «other» individual, separate from the maternal figure and psychically autonomous, capable of letting go of the fusion with the mother, thereby avoiding, later on, the creation of an emotional dependence on future significant figures (e.g. teachers, peers, friends).

But when does this transition happen in the child? Is there a correlation between neuropsychomotor development and the father's progressively stronger presence in the relationship with the child?

Four stages are commonly identified through which the process of independence from the maternal figure is triggered and gradually evolves, thanks to the maturing of the father-child relationship. These stages are closely tied to specific age brackets and to particular milestones that mark neuropsychomotor development.

  • 4-8 months. The child acquires numerous motor skills: movements of the head, limbs, and trunk, postural transitions, new postures, and different ways of moving. It is precisely through these greater possibilities for movement that the child develops their own body image.
  • 8-14 months. The child, increasingly able to recognize and reconstruct their own body image, also acquires the most important way of moving of all: walking.

With these skills comes a huge leap in exploration: the child consciously decides to move closer to or further away from the mother, and this allows them to manage separation anxiety on their own. In this new way of relating to and exploring the surrounding environment, the father represents a crucial pillar, since he embodies the dual function of being welcoming, as a parent, and of representing novelty, as the representative of the world outside the mother.

  • 14-24 months. The child consolidates the ability to walk, and this helps them become increasingly self-assured. It is this confidence, combined with curiosity about the environment, that leads the child from moments of moving away to moments of coming back to the mother, and, as a result, the child's sense of self becomes more solid, the sense of independence strengthens, and the father-child bond becomes more firmly established.
  • 24-36 months. This is the last stage, known as «constancy of the libidinal object»: the child has acquired a stable mental representation of the mother that allows them to cope adequately with her absence. It's fair to say that at this age the child truly feels separate from the maternal figure and forms an equal, yet still distinctive, relationship with both parents.