Not anticipating children's desires by nursing them every time they cry means helping them manage the frustration that comes from having their gratification delayed.
Women often think that being a good mother means always satisfying the child's desires immediately, desires that, in the earliest period of life, are attributed above all to the need to eat.
Today, in maternity wards, family clinics, and many pediatricians' offices, mothers are encouraged to nurse «on demand», that is, not to feed their baby at set times (which is in any case difficult at first, given how variable milk production can be) but whenever the baby asks for it. This is certainly very useful in the first weeks of life, both because frequent nursing encourages milk production, and because mother and baby need to get to know each other before a feeding rhythm can be established. In the beginning, the baby certainly needs to repeat satisfying experiences in order to internalize the image of a gratifying mother, one who is able to fulfill their desires, credible and reassuring. Later on, however, for a healthy baby born at term and of normal weight, milk should be given in a more «rhythmic» way, that is, with a certain distance between feeds, so that the baby has feeding sessions that satisfy them and mark out their day, and that also allow the mother to have intervals of a few hours, both during the day and at night.
Generally speaking, the breast should be the child's source of nourishment, not the only means of consoling them every time they cry.
The baby behaves as if the mother were an extension of themselves, there to eliminate the tension that arises when a desire is slow to be satisfied. The mother, on the other hand, must keep firmly in mind that growing up means precisely coming to terms with moments of frustration linked to delayed satisfaction. If this delay happens now and then, within the context of a satisfying relationship, it's far from being negative for the child. Little by little, in fact, they will find ways to cope with these moments, «hallucinating» the satisfaction, that is, picturing it to themselves before actually experiencing it. And this mechanism, which forms in earliest childhood, is also very useful for adults: how wonderful it is to savor the pleasure of something desired even before actually experiencing it! Desiring means dreaming, and it nurtures creativity!
So, even very young children can learn to manage the frustration caused by a desire that isn't satisfied right away. This happens if the relationship with the mother is gratifying, if she is psychologically present, not distracted by anxieties and/or depression that keep her at a distance from the child. In these cases, the baby won't feel a devastating sense of abandonment if they aren't fed immediately as they would like, but will grow accustomed to delaying satisfaction. It is up to the mother to teach them to face these moments without fear, moments that will come up often in both their childhood and adult life. Of course, it is much simpler and more immediate to nurse the baby and put an end to their crying than to hold their difficulties, talking to them, caressing them, rocking them, holding them, trying to interest them in something. But only in this way is the child given the chance to experience a desire, without having it satisfied in advance every time, before it can even be recognized.