Breastfeeding from the Mother's Point of View

While in the 1950s most babies were bottle-fed, today the first recommendation given to new mothers is to breastfeed. Breast milk is indeed the best suited to a human baby's growth, both because colostrum is rich in nutrients and immune-boosting elements, and because its composition adapts perfectly to the newborn's needs.

These findings, however, don't take into account one fundamental variable: the psychological state of the person offering this «nectar», which affects the wellbeing of the one receiving it. Psychologically speaking, then, there's no real difference between breastfeeding and bottle-feeding: to be a good mother, psychologically present for her newborn, what matters isn't the method used to feed him (breast or bottle), but the state of mind in which it's done. Feeding is, in fact, the most important relational moment in a baby's life: he needs nourishment to grow just as much as he needs a sense of calm in order to begin building a positive image of the world around him. This can happen if, several times a day (and at night too), he has beside him someone entirely devoted to him, able to approach this task with openness and serenity: the mother or a substitute caregiver.

Breastfeeding has both advantages and disadvantages, which every woman should keep clearly in mind, so as not to let her choice of feeding method be swayed by those who take the baby's side without taking her own needs into consideration, needs that get pushed aside in any situation that deviates from the norm: a premature, underweight, or unwell newborn.

Breastfeeding is the physiological way of cutting the umbilical cord that binds mother and child on a psychological level, and it makes the separation less traumatic, since, if the relationship is a good one, the two elements of the pair keep functioning in complete harmony even though they're no longer physically part of one another. It is, however, also a demanding time for the mother: despite undeniable practical advantages (breast milk never disagrees with the baby, is always ready at the right temperature, and can be given anywhere), breastfeeding requires, at least during the postpartum period, the mother's total availability alongside a baby who, at the start of his life, is not yet able to manage the tension caused by hunger. Repeated experiences of satisfaction need to be stored in memory so the baby can gradually learn to adapt to a schedule, one that frees the mother from unconditional availability and teaches the little one to manage the tension of waiting, knowing, from experience, that his need will be met.

Many women aren't prepared to calmly face this period of getting to know each other: they believe a newborn is able to keep to a schedule right from the start, or that breast milk has the same nutritional qualities at every feed regardless of the mother's own physical and psychological state. As a result, they feel overwhelmed by their baby's presence, whose constant demands generate tension and difficulty coping, with guilt following close behind.

It would help if antenatal classes also talked about breastfeeding from the mother's point of view, and didn't make women who «don't feel up to it», because they're too exhausted, feel guilty, bearing in mind that