The Quality of a Child's Attachment

As mentioned previously (cf. The Importance of a Child's Attachment for the Parent), the quality of attachment has been classified according to its characteristics, studied through the Strange Situation, which assesses a child's behavior when faced with the stress of separation.

This is a procedure devised by M. Ainsworth (a Canadian psychologist and student of Bowlby): it consists of a 20-minute session that takes place in a playroom where a mother and child pair and a stranger are present. The child is first left for a few minutes with the stranger, then alone, and is finally reunited with the mother.

Based on the child's behavior at separation and at the moment of reunion, four ways of handling this objectively difficult situation have been identified, revealing different types of attachment:

• secure, characterized by separation distress that is nonetheless overcome once the mother returns. The child finds comfort and reassurance in her and can calmly go back to exploring the environment and playing;
• insecure-avoidant, characterized by the lack of distress the child shows when left by the mother, whom they then ignore when she returns. This behavior is often mistaken for the ability to cope independently with difficult situations. Various studies show, however, that stress increases in these cases too, but the child avoids seeking the parent's support because they sense she wouldn't be able to give it. In their experience (which may not match objective reality), the mother's affective presence and availability aren't enough to give them comfort and reassurance, so they avoid expressing their need for attachment;
• insecure-ambivalent, characterized by intense separation distress and discomfort that the child is unable to overcome even once the mother returns. The child alternates between fits of anger and moments of clinging to her as if to keep her presence under control. The fear of losing her prevents them from breaking away in new environments or in the presence of strangers;
• insecure-disorganized, characterized by «confused» behaviors the child displays at the moment of reunion with the parent (making stereotyped movements, curling up, rocking, freezing).

Attachment style reflects the quality of the mother's presence, since the child internalizes the state of mind the mother experiences while caring for them, and begins to build on this the capacity to respond to difficulties.

It makes a great difference to a child's perception to have close by a mother who is calm, at ease, and fulfilled in her role, as opposed to one lost in an inner world of fears and guilt, or one restless with the desire to be doing something other than caring for them.

cf. J. Holmes, La teoria dell'attaccamento, Cortina