Studies in fetal psychology attach growing importance to the psychic bond that forms between mother and embryo/fetus from the moment of conception, and show that the future child has a greater chance of developing in a harmonious and serene way the more the mother has worked through her own deep-seated conflicts. For this reason, women who intend to start a pregnancy (or who are already pregnant) are increasingly encouraged to undertake a psychotherapeutic path, in order to create the best possible ground for the unborn child to develop on.
To dispel the common assumption that psychotherapy is merely a treatment method for people with psychological problems, and to try to explain how a course of analytic psychotherapy* unfolds, we will offer some clarification on what happens in a session and on how the exchange with the therapist differs from what happens in other situations, even when the same issues are being expressed.
In analytic psychotherapy, the meeting between the therapist and their client is called a session.**
It takes place with the therapist seated in an armchair a few metres away from the client, who lies on a couch in a comfortable, relaxed position. The session is the “unit of measure” of analytic psychotherapy; it lasts anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half, and takes place once or twice a week for a period ranging from a few weeks to several months. The person lying on the couch is asked to tell the story of their life, both the things that really happened and those that were wished for, imagined, or dreamed. To tell it slowly, as if seeing the scenes and people they are talking about projected on a screen; to tell it without leaving out details, describing them instead, even if they may seem insignificant. In session, the point is not to communicate something to the other person, but to tell oneself to oneself in words, giving voice to thoughts that have often never been put into words or never found a way to be worked through. While the person speaks, the therapist listens with neutrality and benevolence (that is, without judging or evaluating), ready to receive not only their thoughts but also the emotional expressions that accompany them (tears, sobs, laughter, anger). Indeed, the subjects that cause the most suffering need an outlet: they are often things that have been held inside for a long time and need to be expressed without interruption, with the possibility of being repeated, contradicted, denied, or revisited from a different angle. And this is precisely what one can allow oneself in session: to tell the facts of one's own life however one wants, as far as one wants, without being interrupted by questions, without receiving advice or words of comfort for the pain one feels. The therapist is there to offer their unconditional availability to listen to the other, to help them carry a burden that feels too heavy, to let them feel free to express themselves without having to protect their social image. What happens in session stays in session; it becomes material that will gradually be picked up again, repeated, deepened and detailed. Above all, as the work progresses, it will be connected to other situations, allowing it to be expanded, and helping the person begin to realise that the episodes of their own story are far more interconnected than they could have imagined.
Work of this kind, based on the neutral presence of the therapist who, without offering comments, intervenes only to show the person how to go further into detail, is aimed at helping them face their current conflicts and free them from the weight carried by similar situations left unresolved in the past; at enabling them to make their own decisions and take on their own responsibilities, and at teaching them to stand on their own two feet.
* Analytic psychotherapy is based on psychoanalytic theory, but the frequency of sessions and the length of treatment are much shorter than in psychoanalysis.
** The term “client” is used rather than “patient”, which implies a state of illness.