Children play. They have always played, from a very young age, but for us adults, play is often something secondary, a mere pastime.
Sometimes it is essential that our child plays, so we can carve out a few minutes for the chores that have piled up or the work we need to finish; at other times, however, we suddenly interrupt our child's play because something “more important” is waiting for us.
In reality, play is genuine work; very serious work, which must be given the value and importance it deserves, because it accompanies and grows alongside our child's development.
Playing is not simple, and you, dear mums and dads, may know this well; that is why I will guide you into the wonderful “world of play”. Starting with this first article, we will discover together the developmental map of play, understand its benefits for children as well as for you as parents, and there will be no shortage of practical tips to support and guide your child towards optimal development.
Play and Its Role in Child Development
Play can be defined as an activity that arises from the child's intrinsic need to carry it out, one that finds no gratification in the goal it achieves or the result it produces, because it already holds pleasure and fulfilment within itself.
Playing is the natural and essential process through which children progressively develop the neurological foundations that will, in the future, allow them to communicate, to create, to solve problems... And it is always through play that the child achieves, over time, several milestones fundamental to their growth and personal development. Thanks to the use of symbolic objects (that is, toys), the child can release onto them fears, anxieties, insecurities and frustrations, but also positive expectations and moments of great joy... In this way, personal maturation takes place in a calmer and more relaxed manner, helping the child to better master reality and to manage the emotional situations they experience in a more active and controlled way.
But the role of play does not end there. When a child plays, entirely spontaneous learning takes place: this means that children “do not play in order to learn, but learn because they play”. Playful activity promotes neuro and psychomotor wellbeing and allows the acquisition of countless socio-communicative, emotional, motor and cognitive skills..., such as the ability to relate to others, to experience their own body in movement, to gauge their own strength, or to think and reason in increasingly abstract terms... And it offers parents the best opportunity to connect with their children.
Mums and Dads... in the Game!
Playing is for children. How many of you, mums and dads, starting from this belief, feel or have felt inadequate or no longer able to play? How many, on the other hand, are a constant, steady presence during their child's playtime, offering any kind of material just to spark a game?
It is important for caregivers to be present in the child's play, but moderating and modulating their own presence.
In the face of play, the adult must position themselves as the figure who stimulates, activates, observes, contains, regulates and interacts. Apparently a very difficult role, but if you think about it carefully, the foundations of play and the most primitive sensitivities lie dormant within every adult. What is needed is to awaken them: a task every mum and dad should commit to fulfilling, since they are responsible for accompanying and guiding their child along their growth journey.
From this perspective, what should the caregiver concretely do during play?
- Prepare and facilitate: this means setting up a suitable play environment, characterised by a space that is simple and defined, but not restrictive (this would prevent the child from experimenting and experiencing themselves) and not overloaded with materials. The goal is to facilitate the play experience, not to anticipate it, to encourage your child's initiative, not to induce it.
- Interact and communicate: during play, interacting and communicating with the child are elements that foster exchange, the enrichment of vocabulary and of the play repertoire, as well as allowing the development of socio-emotional skills. Our advice is to physically get down to your child's level, trying to share in the play and to co-construct meanings. Mirror back some of the sounds the child makes and comment using few words, but clear and descriptive ones. Use facial expressions and your tone of voice to show and reflect the emotions that emerge during play.
- Observe and listen: sometimes it is important to step back and watch the child while they play. This is an important action, just like the others, because it places you in a state of listening, in a different mode. A mode that allows you to observe them, to better understand what they prefer and use most often, how they use the materials...
- Contain and regulate: providing main rules (few, but clear) and boundaries allows the child's play to take shape in a healthy and appropriate way. It is also necessary, in certain moments and forms of play, to be able to contain the child's experience through touch, bodily modulation and emotional regulation (for example during play that is excessively scattered or emotionally intense, such as “rough and tumble play”).